it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
