Are we in a gay sports bar?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
