and she was petting her beer can
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
