the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize