Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
