the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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