the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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