I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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