I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
