They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Couch. On fire.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
