That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm always down for nudity.
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