I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
