I've blown a few things in my day
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
