would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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