Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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