He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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