if you like me you must not know who I am
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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