I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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