you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
