Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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