i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
