Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
