her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize