at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
