Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
time to smoke my breakfast
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
