So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
