The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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