it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
third nipple confirmed
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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