im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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