Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize
