So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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