Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
A bitchslap is in order.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
