At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
