And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
