a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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