i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize