I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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