I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
