So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
