Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
