real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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