Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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