yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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