We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
