You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize