my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize