just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
