fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
smell my finger.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Watching her eat just hurts me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
