Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
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I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We need to get me chipped asap
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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