Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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