Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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