Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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