I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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