I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
