I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
