I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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