Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
