ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
